This essay is part 2 of the 6-part series “You Are Not Replaceable” within The Gold in Brand Alchemy platform — where we don’t just talk brand. We build resonance from the inside out. If you’ve missed prior issues and want to read the full series,
For years, she worked.
The version of you, who knew the moves, played the part, wore the title well —
but never embraced her tiara.
She navigated rooms with grace.
Got results.
Made herself useful — palatable — necessary.
She kept things afloat, sometimes even thriving.
And yet…
The longer you wear her skin, the heavier it becomes.
Not because she was wrong.
But because she’s done.
I realized this in myself recently — again.
Even after all the clarity, all the shedding…
I still found myself reaching for the old rhythm.
The “default setting” of who I used to be.
Because she was successful.
Because she was respected.
Because she knew how to belong —
even if it meant dimming her crown to stay invited.
But here’s the part I hadn’t fully acknowledged:
I was grieving her.
The woman who carried it all. Who knew how to be needed.
She got me here. And I kept trying to resurrect her — not because I wanted to be her again,
but because I wasn’t sure I trusted the woman I was becoming.
And every time I tried to perform her again —
even unconsciously —
I felt it in my body.
The dull fatigue.
The fog.
The way my energy just… drained.
Not from doing too much —
but from doing what no longer fit.
My jaw would tighten in meetings where I said yes, when everything in me wanted to say no.
My shoulders would ache after conversations where I shrunk my truth to keep the peace.
My body knew before I did.
And what made it harder?
The world still loved her.
Still praised her.
Still asked for her.
And every time they did, it felt like a small betrayal of the woman I’m trying to become.
So many of my clients are in this same place:
They’ve outgrown who they were, but haven’t fully stepped into who they are.
So they keep performing the in-between.
And it’s exhausting.
You don’t need to blow it all up.
You just need to be honest:
Your energy is betraying the truth before your mind will.
You’re not tired because you’re weak.
You’re tired because you’ve been brilliant in a room that doesn’t see it.
Because you’ve been performing instead of reigning.
There is a version of you that doesn’t need to perform, prove, or play small.
She doesn’t ask for permission.
She doesn’t wait to be chosen.
She walks in knowing: the crown fits.
Only presence.
Only truth.
Only your real, radiant way of being.
If this spoke to you, consider sharing or gifting it to someone who’s ready to hear their own voice again — or give it a restack to ripple it wider.
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